Fault lines

My greatest fault is a tendency to speak or write in the heat of the moment, without really thinking things through fully. This is the one that bites me and I end up kicking myself and regretting things said and just wishing I’d held my bloody tongue. It’s something I’ve been working on for years and yet still when I’m tired or emotions are running high I find myself running off at the mouth when silence would be better.

Another fault of mine is difficulty letting things go. This combines poorly with the above. It means I stew about stuff I wish I hadn’t said. Or it means that I stew about stuff until I’m worked up, and then I say things I later regret.

I also spread myself too thin, taking on too much, and forget to look after myself and end up overtired (=grumpy) or dropping a ball that no-one asked me to juggle in the first place.

I get annoyed too easily by trivial things that I don’t need to care about (e.g. most of the internet).

As my younger brother would attest, I’ve always been a bit of a know-it-all. 

When I’m tired or hungry or stressed I snap at my husband over stupid things.

When I’m tired and overworked I am less able to live in the moment with my son.

I think it’s important to be honest with ourselves about areas where we fall short, because otherwise we never get to grow. It’s especially important as parents. Children learn from example. We all have our faults and I hope that by admitting where I go wrong and making an effort to do better next time, he learns two things. First, that no-one is perfect so we need to be forgiving of ourselves and other people. Second, that we have control of our own behaviour and we can choose to modify it in future.

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