Maybe the last time. I don’t know.

My husband and I always thought we’d have three kids. We liked the idea of three. Three seemed good to us. Two, plus another.

I still like the idea of three, but I’m not sure anymore if I’ll like the reality of three. See how I feel in another couple of years, see how we’re going. Today I’m leaning towards stopping at two.

I am enjoying not being pregnant. It’s wonderful to think of not doing that again.

It’s nice to think of no more birth and recovery. It went well second time round, might not go well third time round.

I miss my one on one time with the little dude. A third child would make it harder to spend one on one time with each of them.

Harder to do postgrad study. Harder to travel overseas. Would mean we’d need to renovate or move house sooner. Would introduce four new relationships into the family dynamic. Would make juggling two careers more challenging. Would mean additional expenses.

New bub is a cruisy baby. I think he and the little dude will be good mates when they’re bigger. I’m remembering from my own childhood the advantage of growing up with just one sibling: there’s only one sibling relationship to manage.

And you don’t know what baby you’re gonna get. I currently feel like I don’t have enough time to always give both the attention they need, potentially more so with another child, who may have more complex needs than either of the ones I have already. If it was a geeky bookish daughter who loved to have long talks with me, like me and my mum, I’d be especially tempted to have a third. The baby might be not like that at all. What would I do with a girl who doesn’t like books?! And the little dude is my bookish chatterbox anyway, I already have one from that mould. What if it’s a boy who feels left out of his brothers’ games ’cause he’s the youngest?

In the opposing column – are these two really my only children? Will each of bub’s first be the last first? Have I really had the final first new baby smile already?

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3 thoughts on “Maybe the last time. I don’t know.

  1. My thoughts at the moment exactly, though I think I’m leaning more strongly to that last paragraph – hormones I’m sure. Someone said to me the other day that you just know when you’re done (or not) – and it hit me yesterday in the chemist when I saw the pregnancy tests – I’m not done yet. I find it so confusing as I have the same career questions, money questions, quality time questions. And for some reason I feel like (and it could just be in my head) there is a weird societal judgement around having 3. Sigh.

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  2. I think whether to have a third will be the biggest decision we ever make, the way for some people the decision whether to have any is the biggie. You’re right that there’s an expectation of ending at two. But the idea that my squidgy baby days will be forever over in a few short months?! Can’t get my head round it. Maybe I just need my brother to supply some nieces or nephews.

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  3. Our big (4) is now at morning kindy 5 days a week and all of a sudden I understand how people can even contemplate a third without getting cold sweats! With a big at morning kindy and a little (18 months) who is on one solid nap, all of a sudden I see how it might be possible to balance all and actually get quality time with each, as well as both. Maybe not “enough”, but I don’t really think there is an “enough”… (we are stopping at 2, for career-interruption, husbandly reluctance, pregnancy loathing, PND, and ghastly weight-gain reasons, and I definitely yearn for more snuggles)

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