Poor unfortunate oldest child

Conventional wisdom has it that the second child is to be pitied, missing out on the parents’ full attention, getting hand me downs, having to be dragged along to whatever the oldest is doing.

On the other hand, the second child has parents who know what the hell they’re doing. The second child might be left grizzling longer, but only because the parents can tell the difference between a “bored” cry and a “fallen out of my seat” cry.

Pity the older child! Parents who are making it up, winging it, trying to google how to deal with an issue several months after they should have noticed it, parents who are stressing out about every little thing. Then, insult to injury, having to be shunted aside when a second one comes.

I was so inept with the little dude compared to now with bub! And in two years when bub is a big kid, I’ll be way more calm and confident with his toddler needs too.

My husband and I are both oldest children, so when I feel bad about how the little dude misses out on the calm expertise we have with bub, I tell myself that long term he’ll probably just become a lawyer.

Fuck.

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