Things I hope our childless friends know about the first year of new baby

We’re really depleted right now and we know we’re grumpier and more annoying than we should be. 

We’re really tired all the time. 

We still want to hang out with you, but it’s hard finding time without the kids, and if they come too we don’t really get a chance to catch up.

It means such a lot to us when you stay in touch. Even if it’s just liking the baby photos we post online. 

We want to share our lives with you but we don’t want to bore you with minutae of child-raising. We don’t mind if you remind us of the boundaries!

Evening catch ups with both parents are really ridiculously hard, so are reserved for exceptionally special occasions. 

We still care about you and what’s going on in your life! 

We’re sorry for unanswered emails and cursory replies, our time and our heads are scattered –  basically we’re sorry for not being a better friend lately and we promise we’ll try harder when the kids are a bit bigger. 

Thank you so much for listening to us complain. The first year is a whirlwind and a sympathetic ear helps.

We miss our old life and the abundance of time we used to spend with you. Please wait for us. Babies grow up quickly and they won’t always need us this much.

We know that some of you only want what we have and we’re so so sorry for the times we forget to consider your feelings. We think of you often and hope for you. 

We appreciate your perspective on our lives. We’re so bogged down in our day-to-day, but you see something different. That the naughty behaviour is actually kinda funny. Or that our kids won’t judge us harshly for putting ourselves first sometimes. Or that we’re doing a good job and everyone makes mistakes. 

Thank you for everything. The messages, the visits, the gushing over squidgy photos, the presents. We love you and feel extremely lucky to have you in our lives, and in our children’s lives.


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