Dear friend

Hey, you should all go and buy Emily’s book! It’s called Rants in the Dark and it’s out now and I just read it and it’s fantastic.

I remember reading her first blog, I am Grateful, now Fuck Off. I read it late at night, of course. It was a blast of air that set me straight on my feet again and I didn’t even realise I was stumbling. I was immediately in love with this blogger. And it was kinda awkward because I knew we lived in the same city and our kids are a similar age, and Wellington is pretty little, so I devoured all the content but in this self-conscious way where part of me fretted about how we would inevitably meet one day, and when that day happened I would feel like a stalker because I would want to gush about how fantastic the writing is and how true it feels and how FUCKNG FUNNY it is and how much I admire the way love shines in every piece. I had these imagined conversations of me being the awkwardest person ever:

Emily “Hi”

Me “Hi, you don’t know me at all and this probably sounds really nuts but I think maybe we have a telepathic connection?”


Emily “Hi”

Me “Your stories about Eddie make me want him to be my son’s friend, can I borrow him?”


Emily “Hi”

Me “I love your blog. I know everyone loves your blog but I REALLY love your blog. I’m you’re biggest fan. But not in a weird stalker way. I’m a genuinely normal human being and I have friends who think I’m normal I swear but also can you be my friend too but I would like to again emphasise that I don’t mean that in a weird stalker way”


Emily “Hi”

Me “Hi”

Internal me “You can’t pretend you don’t know who she is! That’s even weirder! Fucking say something! Lead with ‘I read your blog’! Stop being weird! This is extra weird!”


(Don’t worry readers, when we met it was not awkward because the magic power of the internet meant we sort of knew each other by then.)

Emily is a brilliant writer, but more than that, through her writing and in other ways she’s a builder of community. It is an amazing and precious gift and we’re so lucky to have her doing this work. Her writing shapes mothers, lifts us up, and buttresses us with love and hope. This is a book that I will buy for many a pregnant friend, because in these covers, I know that they will find the words they need to get through another night. The words they need to find the small joys in a day that is a mess of snotty noses and abandoned hot beverages. When my own kids are grown, I will dip into this book again, and it will bring me back to these days – sometimes so long, sometimes so hard, sometimes overwhelming, but always drenched with love.

Thank you Emily. We are better mothers, better people, better partners, stronger families, for reading your words. Arohanui e hoa. Tino rawe tō mahi.


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