I found this draft from last November:
It was good having a whinge here yesterday. I needed to get out the sheer frustration. Funnily enough, today has been totally fine. Sometimes you jut need a whinge eh.
It’s an odd one, figuring out whether you attitude to your circumstances needs to change or whether your needs are unmet. It can be hard to figure out. And sometimes both are true. I find myself often defaulting to “I just need to be better”, because of this privileged existence as part of the 21st century developed country middle class. A really big part of me feels like I don’t get to fucking complain. But another part of me is like, well, sure I have a fridge and lights, but I’m on my own all day with the kids and company is a pretty baseline need. Especially whenever I get snappy with the little dude, I always think – fucking fuck, I should be able to walk away from this situation BUT I CAN’T. It’s so lonely, but you’re not alone, there’s no peace.