3am – older one comes into our room. Husband gets up to go sleep with him in his bed.

4.30am – baby wakes, breastfeeds, back to sleep.

6.30am – baby wakes, breastfeeds, back to sleep

7.30am – fuck should be up already fuck. Play with baby in bed anyway. Baby is very charming and snuggly tickly.

7.35am – husband comes in, announces importance of me showering immediately

7.50am – husband has made porridge for everyone except himself because this is the small gesture each day that reminds me he’s a good catch. Sit down to eat porridge. Baby rejects porridge. Older one eats heaps, very slowly.

8.20am – leave house in panicked rush. 

8.25am – realise, on way to creche, that we have forgotten the important Bruno Bear. Explain to older one why we can’t turn back. Say he can borrow my woolly hat to cuddle at rest time instead. Realise we didn’t clean his teeth.

8.45 – Leave creche. Explain about the hat on the way out the door.

9.05 – Drop husband at dentist appointment only 5 minutes late.

9.10 – park car, thanking the traffic gods profusely.

9.17 – work computer slowly awakens. Outlook notification for meeting across town at 9am. Email from colleague saying he can’t come in because his son is at hospital. Fuck it is essential I be at that meeting. Leave in haste.

9.30 – 11.15 long meeting. Very thirsty. When did it stop being standard practice to always have water at meetings?

11.30am – get slice of Tommy Millions pizza on way back to work.

12pm – 3pm – frantically try and do my work and colleague’s work quickly, this thing has to be out by close of business, also yesterday was home with kids day, always backlog to catch up on. Field lots of phone calls and emails. Hit 3pm and brain dies.

3pm – buy a peanut slab

3.10pm – 4.45pm really focused on getting everything done because kids need to be picked up so can’t stay late. Get it out. Feel like a success.

4.52pm – leave office stressed kids languishing and might be last ones at creche 

4.55pm – see amazing sunset

5.15pm – arrive at creche. Kids not last ones. Put both in car. Baby cries most of the way home except when​ older one sings. Coax older one to sing.

5.30pm – home. Breastfeed baby. Give older one a pear. Turn heaters on, close curtains, make pasta. 

5.50 – husband arrives home. Finishes getting kids their dinner.

6pm – 6.45pm – hang with family / defend baby from constant onslaught of big brother, who is invasive even when well-meaning. 

6.50pm – leave to go to a dinner with current and former colleagues. Feel very Free and Adult and Casual and Fun.

7pm – 8.45pm – lovely lovely time at dinner. Wish could stay longer. Text husband. He responds that children are both screaming.

9.15pm – arrive home. Take baby onto lap in bedroom for a breastfeed. 

10.05 – baby finally falls properly asleep

10.20pm – successfully place baby in centre of adult bed.

10.20pm – now – should get up and clean teeth and come back to bed properly but haven’t.


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